Love might find a way
but if it doesn’t
it will be buried or drown.
So I call in sick and go
to my first cocktail party in 4 years.
A lot of young girls are there
throwing out the word “fuck”
as if it were an anchor to adulthood
and I carry my lust for them
like a shield to protect me
from the women I miss
specifically L and A,
L has always been
my anchor to humanity
(like evil men everywhere know
there is a grace that comes
from confessing into a warm bosom)
but L is with someone else now
and A is back on coke
so I fill up on free liquor,
an ocean that leaks out later
into the SRO room sink.
Uber Alles
There's lots of spiritually liberated
people in California
they quote Indian gurus
and eat healthy
but their art
is terrible.
I'd rather be like Balzac
40 cups of coffee a day
or James Joyce, knocking into
the furniture
falling over his empty bottles
one last drip
a tear in his eye
and ideas so terrible
they had to be forgotten.
Peep Show
I was twenty when I saw my first stripper
at The Lusty Lady in San Francisco
I put twenty bucks in a slot
the curtains parted
she had smeared her vagina
with vaseline
so the labia stuck open-
more a flower than a pussy
when I saw it
I gasped
like a little girl
and left in a fever
something in me had busted and fallen
I could feel it in my socks
I still can
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